When Life Gives You Lemons Make Apple Juice!
by Atalanta-chan
Summary: When Pai's plan from before this story began goes into effect, what will the Mew Mews do? Will they even notice? And what does all of this have to do with the Authoress? Better yet, why am I asking you these questions? Read to find out!
1. Taruto and Kisshu's Fans

AN Konnichiwa! This is the first fic I've posted, but not the first I've written, but it is my first Tokyo Mew Mew fic. This would have been a one shot, but it ended up taking longer than I expected, so I might have other characters in it. Pudding was supposed to appear this chapter, (more than just during the battle) but I'llput her in thenext chapter.

Lanta: Kisshu, will you do the disclaimer?

Kisshu: Why should I?

Lanta: If you don't, I'll attack you with Q-sama's rabid salt and vinigar chips.

Kisshu: Nooooooo! Anything but that!

Lanta: Your acting stinks. Just say the disclaimer.

Kisshu: Fine.Ata-chan does not own Tokyo Mew Mew, otherwise Masaya would have been eaten in the first episodeby the same rabid salt and vinigar chips whichwere just used to threaten me with. Ata-chan also does not own the rabid salt and vinigar chips. She is simply borrowing them for the moment.

* * *

"Alien, alien!" shouted the annoying little pink puffball known as Masha. "Shirogane-san, can't you do anything about that puffball of annoyingness?" asked the Authoress. The Authoress, a.k.a. Lanta, had been sitting next to Mint, enjoying a cup of tea that was only one part tea, to thirty-four parts cream and sugar, so it no longer bared any resemblance to tea at all. At least she had been, until everyone had been interrupted by Masha. "They're atthe park! Tokyo Mew Mew, go!" commanded Ryou.

By the time theLanta got to the park, Ichigo was already delivering the final blow to Taruto's giant Chirema dandelion, so she didn't have a clue what had happened leading up to that point. "Ribbon Strawberry, Check!" The dandelion shrunk back to its normal size, and the little glowing jellyfish-thingy flew away, only to be eaten by Masha.

"I'll get you next time!" called Taruto. "Bye Taru-Taru, na no da!" Pudding shouted at the top of her lungs. "Don't call me that!" replied Taruto, before teleporting away, only to reappear behind the fountain, just out of the Mew Mew's sight.

"Well, let's go back to the café. I haven't finished my tea yet." Said Mint in a slightly annoyed tone. The Mews started walking in the general direction of the café, only to stop and turn around. "Lanta-san, aren't you coming with us?" asked Lettuce. "Eh, no, I'll stay here for a bit."Lanta replied. The Authoress sat down by the fountain, opposite Taruto.

At exactly the same moment the Mews vanished around the corner, another group of girls came into view, all animatedly talking to one another.Lanta attempted to listen in on their conversation, but only could pick out the word "Kisshu". Of course, she didn't hear it just once. Every other word was "Kisshu". Kisshu's rabid fangirls were approaching her. Quickly,Lanta became invisible, using her Authoress powers of awesomeness. "Hey, wasn't there a girl sitting there?" asked a random girl. "Yeah… Hey! She looked like a member of the Kisshu Fanclub!" Another fangirl exclaimed. "Wow! If she vanished like that, she must be an Authoress! Are there any Authoresses in our club?" "Who cares! Let's talk about Kisshu some more!"

As the rabid fangirls continued to talk about Kisshu, Taruto asked himself, "Lanta is a member of Kisshu's fanclub?" Unfortunately for him, he said it outloudand loudenough for everyone to hear. "Hey, what was that?" someone asked. "It sounded like it came from behind the fountain!"

As the fangirls ran toward the fountain, the Authoress quickly managed to leap out of the way. In a matter of moments, the fangirls had completely surrounded Taruto.

Suddenly the all the fangirls started talking at once. "Hey, look, it's Taruto!" "He's so cute!" "He's cute, but in a different way from Kisshu…" "I am not cute!" shouted Taruto, so loudly that all the fangirls instantly stopped talking. Eventually, a single voice said, "He's cute when he's annoyed."

* * *

Wow... that seems rather short. I don't know when I'll update next, but I will eventually. 

Kisshu: How come you haven't become un-invisible yet?

Lanta: I need the right timing.

Kisshu: Whatever.

Lanta: Anyway, review!


	2. Conspiracy Theory!

**Conspiracy Theory! – A bizarre conversation over tea.**

AN: Last night I couldn't sleep at all (haven't been for weeks now), and I got lots of ideas for the next chapter. Of course, now I'm so tired I can't remember anything, but I'll try.

2nd AN: Okay, I started typing weeks ago, (possibly months) and now I have new ideas, but I can't remember any of the old ones. Once again, I'll try. sits and stares into space.

3rd AN: Gomen! I would have gotten this chapter posted sooner, but my hard drive died, came back to life, died again, came back to life, I got my files off, then it died for the last time. Finally I have an idea for the second half of the chapter! And, better yet, I have an idea for the third chapter! reads story so far Oh… Uh, I'll keep that in there and… um… well, I'll think of something.

4th AN: Finally! My computer is back up! But, I don't have any sound, I can't change the resolution, and the color is stuck on a low setting! And, the worst part is, I have to type this in WordPad, because I don't have a CD for Microsoft Word! Oh, and Ryou is going to be OOC, (Please say thats right. I mean out of character if its wrong.) but for a reason. Which will be explained in the next chapter. I think. Looks outside Breaking News! After having absolutely no snow all winter, and then waking up this morning to find that it was raining, it is now snowing huge clumps of snow!

Ooh! I have a new title!

Kisshu: Am I going to be in this chapter?

Lanta: Uh... Kinda.

Kisshu: What are you going to do next?

Lanta: You'll see.

* * *

Once again we find the Authoress, Lanta, sitting at a table at Café Mew Mew, enjoying a cup of cream and sugar next to Mint. She had gotten bored listening to Taruto and Kisshu's rabid fangirls, so she had come back to the Café and told Pudding that Taruto was in the park. That had been five hours ago. 

She was now wondering if Taruto was still alive, or if Pudding had suffocated him. It had been weeks since she had seen him.

"Lanta, has a teabag come within a mile of what you're drinking? I don't think it can even be called tea!" said Minto.

Lanta gave Minto a funny look. "Well, of course it can't be called tea! It's only the finest tea-free cream and sugar hand mixed freshly seconds before Akasaka-san hands me the cup! And the nearest tea bag is that one right there, in that tea pot." She pointed to the tea pot sitting in the middle of the table at which they were sitting at.

Minto stared at her for a minute before snapping out of it, muttering, "Oh," and taking a sip of tea, not understanding the Authoress any more than she did seven minutes ago.

**The following paragraph is an idea that I never finished typing. I have now forgotten what I was going to do, but I want to keep it, just in case anyone can read minds over an internet connection and remind me what I was going to do.**

Everyone's favorite green-haired alien was sitting high in the branches of a tree, thinking about Ichigo and how he'd try to win her over the next time he saw her, when he saw the air in front of him start to ripple. He closed his eyes, hoping that if he pretended to be asleep, he wouldn't be bothered. His plan didn't work as well as he had hoped.

**Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever had an idea. Anyways, the story will now continue as usual, or in this case, unusual.**

Shirogane-san sat down at his computer and pressed the button with the funny symbol that everyone knows means 'on', but nobody knows why. He sat there staring at the wall, wondering when Keichero had gotten the second computer. He blinked, and it vanished.

He turned back to the first computer and saw a little white rectangle flashing in the corner of the screen. He stared at it, wondering if something was wrong with his computer. Suddenly, words started typing themselves on the screen. Startled, Ryou jerked back, knocking over the chair he happened to be sitting on.

He saw Akasaka-san walking toward him on the ceiling. At least, he was from Ryou's point of view, which was currently upside-down on the floor.

"Keichero! Something is wrong with the computer!" exclaimed Shirogane from the floor.

Akasaka-san read the words that had scared Ryou onto the floor. "It can't read the hard-drive." He stated.

"I knew it," said Ryou in an accusatory mannor. "the hard drive company is trying to get my information on the aliens!" Keichero stared at his clearly delusional friend. "Don't you get it?" asked Ryou with an exclamation point after the question mark. "They're working for people who know about me! They sell me a hard drive that is programmed to stop working after a set time. I take it back to the store to get one that works, and they get the information!" Keichero just stood there, staring at Ryou.

Meanwhile, on the alien ship...

Pai was standing in front of the huge computer screen, pressing buttons on the pedistal with the glowing thing.

"Hey, Pai! What are you doing?" Asked Kisshu, teleporting behind him. He started to look over his friend's sholder, when the screen vanished

Pai lifted his finger from the off button, ending his game of what humans call "Pong". He had made up his mind that if anyone asked, he was researching human culture and tecnology. Of course, the only one who would believe him was Deep Blue, the lie would be useless on Kisshu and Taruto.

"Kisshu," he began, "I want you to spy on the Mew Mew's headquarters. Make sure that the plan is working."

"Mou, why can't you send Taruto?" Kisshu complained.

"He isn't very competent." he looked at Kisshu. "Actually, I haven't seen him recencly. While you're spying on the Mews, try to locate him. He could have been captured."

"Hai" Said Kisshu, before teleporting away.

"It won't be long now, Shirogane."

At that very moment at the park...

"Taru-Taru, na no da! Where did you go, no da?" Called Pudding.

Taruto sat panting in a tree, directly above the hyper monkey girl. He looked up. Pudding was hanging upside down from the branch above him.

"Found you, na no da!" Exclaimed Pudding, glomping the poor alien**  
**

* * *

**Lanta: It took since September, but I have finally finished this chapter!**

**Pai: When are you going to update next? I'm eager to start my plan in which I--**

**Everyone: tackles Pai**

**Pai: from under mina-san Fine, ow, I won't reveil my plan.**

**Lanta: sitting on top of everyone Happy Holidays!**

**Ichigo: Have a great Winter Break, Nya!  
**

* * *

**Announcer guy: Next time, on Tokyo Mew Mew:**

**Lanta: standing in front of the Cafe Uh... anime sweat drop I don't even have a title for this chapter... uh, but, long pause Someone will be kidnapped! glances around nervously And, anou... in the chapter after the next chapter, a new super power will be given to the person who gets kidnapped! And that power will come from someone using said person's angst against them, but it will awaken that power! ... and two enemies will become friends! Sorta. sighs ...**

**Pudding: Jumps out of nowhere Review, na no da!**

**Final AN of the chapter: Wow. What a long chapter. Long for me, anyways. We finally have snow, which you'd think we would have already, up north, where I happen to live, so I won't be on the computer for a while. Or I'll be on it longer. Somehow I think that if I keep typing, the chapter won't end. breaks out in tears I don't wana end the chapter! It took me too long!**

**Ichigo and Minto: drags the authoress away, still sobbing Ja Ne!**


	3. The Plot Thickens!

** The Plot Unfolds! Or maybe it thickens… or probably just gets more confusing. **

**AN: Hi, minna-san! I've been trying to write an entire chapter, but all I have are bits and pieces of ideas, and there are holes that need to be filled in with writing. **

**Oh, um, I have some bad news. I'm loosing the urge to write random Authoress **

**fanfic, and I actually have a storyline. **

**Also, this next chapter shows the actual storyline, and it jumps ahead. I'll go back in time, and I'll make sure it's not serious. (Kisshu and Taruto are going to be spying on the café, and chaos ensues. I don't have any specifics, so it'll be a while before I have the chapter up.)**

…**This chapter explains why Shirogane-san was acting like an idiot. I'll try to get the scenes like that cleaned up a bit the next time I do one, but I have to think of entirely different personalities for every character. Sorry for the delay!**

Kisshu and Taruto teleported to the alien dimension. Pai looked up from his computer. "Have you completed your mission?" he asked them.

"Yes," answered Kisshu, "Our plan is working out quite nicely. Now that we've tested it on their leader, we can use it against the Mews. Soon they'll be so confused, we can just walk right in to the café and swipe their information about the Blue Aqua right out from under their noses!" Kisshu paused, and glanced over at Taruto, who was sniffing the air.

"

Do either of you smell that?" asked the younger alien. "It smells familiar."

Pai looked over to a tank over in the corner. His eyes widened in fear as he watched purple gas leak out from a crack somewhere. He began to feel dizzy, and he felt an urge to say something he never thought he'd ever say. "I don't really think we should attack the humans anymore."

Kisshu and Taruto stared in shock as Pai collapsed, unconscious. Then they felt urges to say and do things that they never would do, trying to push their way out of their bodies. They didn't have a chance to do anything though, as they quickly slipped into unconsciousness, overpowered by the gas. The last thing Kisshu saw was the three letters on the tank, "OCC".

**Yes, that was very short. That was simply to clear things up so I can concentrate on the café scene. If I get bored, I might to a short scene with the authoress, but I'm tired, and I've been working hard on homework and stuff. …and I've also been busy avoiding homework by making AMVs. (My youtube username is the same as mine here, just without the dash.)**


End file.
